A Letter of Recognition for 2010

Today, on this very last day of 2010,

I am writing myself a letter of recognition. 

Right around the same time last year, 

I had made the biggest move of my life 

（aside from moving to China alone)

It was the biggest career move of my life,

going from luxury client side to digital agency side.

That was the first recognition that I want to give to myself.

Whether or not it is a right decision, 

It surely wasn't an easy one,

nor was it comfortable. 

I knew for both my professional and personal growth,

I must get out of the industry first. 

After all, I did spend 12 years in it.

While many people aim to pursue happiness in life,

I aim to pursue bigger contribution.

A bigger contribution where I can 

further validate my value.

I guess, that is one definition for happiness.

The question I asked myself was,

Who is Joyce,

and how ELSE can she give?

In the entire year of 2010,

I unfortunately, didn't see much grant accomplishment made.

I tried to contribute in various ways,

But what was brought to me was many small failure.

Don't be too hard on yourself, many would say to me.

But I am.

I often time appear loose and carefree. 

But I am the hardest judge on myself in the whole wide world.

I didn't manage to get one great client. 

I didn't manage to earn big bucks for the company.

All I did in terms of professional life,

was wiping ass for some irresponsible fuckers from the past.

the kind of ass-wiping action that will never be praised for.

But you know what,

and I'm shouting to this world,

I know there are still things that I did well in 2010.

And I am going to recognize them now.

Miss J,

the softer lenses that you start to put on 

to look at this world, has made a huge change in how you interact with people. 

You have become more forgiving, kinder, more thoughtful, and more empathetical.

You are less judgmental and give more benefit of doubts to things.

You have reached out your arms to people in need.

You pull the focus away from work, 

and into the LIFE that you are living.

You grew closer to the family,

you care much more about how mama Ling would feel,

and making her and sister happy has become a priority.

You finally started to face what truly makes who Joyce is.

It's cooking, being surrounded by people, and make people grow.

You have realized that contributing to making people better,

giving them more confidence,

is what makes who you are.

And you intend to keep it this way. 

You did a more than fantastic job in your once in a life time lecturing opportunity at Fudan. 

And although because it is not in your job scope, 

so you are not really recognized in this,

I still want you to know, 

that there are people who appreciate this.

And they are Vivaki training team, Fudan grad students, and professor Zhang.

The recognition from them means a whole lot more than anything. 

Joyce, and you've also become more confident,

in facing your own failures.

It is not the easiest thing for you or for anyone.

But you've done it. 

You started to examine why there's the failure,

and somewhat blame yourself less.

You stop dwelling in superficial matters,

but really pursue what is right for you.

You started to recognize other strength in you,

and you have made a promise to let them grow.

I am so happy, Joyce,

that you will finally admit the fact that 

You are so fucking good at training, coaching, and people management,

and you are finally going to do something about it.

Regardless of how others will think.

Someone had once said to you,

It's not always about you. 

I think there's two sides to this.

Some are into themselves because they think they are the best,

the rest like you, are into themselves because they want to be better.

And Joyce, for you I know,

You want to be into yourself now because 

you are still looking for where your new values are. 

You want to be validated, recognized, pat on the shoulders. 

There's nothing wrong with that.

But Joyce I give you credits for finally realizing that,

this recognition is self-found.

And you've found it.

I also want to recognize you,

for being a better manager.

You have finally started to give more trust to your team,

trying not to change much they have done,

trying to understand where they are coming from,

and trying to praise them more,

while giving them what is the best for them.

Empathy has grown stronger than ever in you.

For you have finally come to understand,

that whatever you crave, others may too.

I'd like to make a side note here,

that I happen to manage a team which every member within,

is just as hard on themselves as I am. 

And team, oh team.

I am still learning to alleviate that self-pressure from you.

Because I know how that feels,

I know how it feels when no one says "kudos, good  job" 

to something you've put hours of efforts to pull through.

Now, Joyce.

After this very brief recognition (not exactly brief),

I hope you find where you can give more,

enjoy more,

learn more, 

and share more.

I hope you find love, 

And I know it's ahead of you.

It depends on you whether or not it will be pursued.

I just hope you are happy.

Because I am you,

and you are me.

We are there for each other.

Love,

You.